Angel on the Staircase
by hudmelsonberry
Summary: Dave's attempted suicide affected Blaine more than anyone knows. But unlike Dave, Blaine had someone to stop him - the angel on the staircase. Blangst. R&R!


**So I got this idea from a photoset I saw on Tumblr (I don't remember who created it and it got lost on my dash because I'm dumb and didn't like or reblog it. This means that I can't give credit where credit is due and I apologize to whoever created the photoset). I don't want to give too much away, but I will say that it's an AU spin on the scene in "On My Way" when Mr. Schue has the kids on the stage, if that's any indication.**

**Warning: I'm changing Kurt's answer to Mr. Schue's question. Just so y'all know.**

I walked fairly quickly to the choir room, late for rehearsal because my chemistry teacher had wanted to speak with me. When I got there, the lights were off and there was a sign on the door:

_Meeting in the Auditorium Today_

I shrugged and turned towards the auditorium, figuring someone had a song idea for Regionals that they wanted to share, much like I had a few days before. I walked into the auditorium and saw everyone sitting in a circle on the stage. Confused, I got on to the stage and sat down across from Kurt, who smiled and gave a small wave. I shook my head and smiled back, thinking that my boyfriend could be so cheesy sometimes. "Sorry I'm late, Mr. Schue," I said.

"That's fine, Blaine." He started to say something else, but Mercedes cut across him.

"Mr. Schue, why do you have a jar of peanut butter with one spoon?" As she said it, I looked over and got even more confused than I'd been a minute ago. Did he expect us all to share the same spoon? I mean, I didn't even want to _think _about where Puck's mouth had been.

"Yeah, there are fifteen of us here, and I'm only comfortable sharing a spoon without half of you." Well said, Sugar, well said.

"Well, it's come to my attention," he explained, "that our good friend Rory Flanagan has never tasted peanut butter." I literally had to stop my jaw from dropping and I knew everyone else was just as shocked as I was, given the sudden outcry of "What?"

"Are you serious?" Tina asked.

"No way. That's impossible," Sam said and I nodded my head in agreement. Unless, of course, they didn't have peanut butter in Ireland – in which case, I never wanted to go there.

Mr. Schue stood up and crossed the circle to where Rory sat. "Rory, if you don't mind." He scooped out a spoonful and handed it to Rory.

"Oh, God," he said, like he couldn't believe this was actually happening. To be honest, I couldn't, either. Then Rory put the spoon in his mouth and laughed. "Oh, my God. That's the best thing I ever had," he stated, his words even harder to understand than normal considering he had peanut butter in his mouth, which tended to slip up even the most articulate of people.

We all laughed as Rory sat down, the jar of peanut butter in his hands. Then Kurt said, "Mr. Schuester, while that's incredibly moving… um, it's kind of been an emotional week for some of us." He caught my eye briefly before looking away and I knew that he still blamed himself for what happened to Dave.

"Yeah, Mr. Schue," Finn agreed. "What's the point of all this?"

"The point is, Rory just had a brand-new experience, something as simple as peanut butter." Suddenly, I didn't like where this conversation was headed, so I tried to concentrate on other things – like the fact that Kurt's pants should be illegal, considering how good he looked in them. "You guys are young." And that shirt… since when did he start showing that much skin in public? "I want you to promise me that, no matter how depressed you get, no matter how hopeless or alone you feel, you'll try your best to imagine all the amazing experiences you have ahead of you." Yeah, this was treading into some seriously dangerous territories.

"Mr. Schue, look, I know we're a little dramatic sometimes," Mercedes said, glancing particularly at Rachel, I noticed, but I don't think anyone will consider taking their own life."

And that was it.

Mr. Schue opened his mouth to say something, but I spoke before he had the chance. "I did." Everyone turned to look at me, but I only had eyes for Kurt at that moment. I searched his face, trying to understand what he was thinking, but his face was expressionless, so I just decided to continue my story. "I'd been depressed for a while because I'd lost all of my friends and practically my entire life after I came out." I swallowed thickly, remembering how everything I had known was ripped away in a matter of seconds. Suddenly, I wished that I had Kurt sitting next to me, but felt comforted when Artie put his hand on my shoulder. It reminded me that everything was better now, that I had people who loved me for exactly who I was.

"Anyway," I continued with a smile at Artie. "Things started to get a little better when I got to Dalton… well, on the outside, anyway. Inside, though, I still felt the same way. Like no one cared about me. Like my life meant nothing."

"Is that true?" Kurt blurted and I could hear the tears in his voice and that hurt even more than thinking about the time I almost tried to kill myself. I had made a promise to myself after we got together that I would make sure Kurt was the happiest person in the world because it killed me to see him so upset.

I nodded. He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and cast his eyes downward. I resolved to make it up to him later – anything to put a smile back on his face. "I'd seen all those videos – all those people telling that it gets better – but I didn't believe them. I mean, how could I? I'd lost everything – my friends, my school, even my church kicked me out. Seemed to me the only way things would really ever get better is if I… you know." I couldn't say the words out loud, not with Kurt sitting right there.

"I had it all planned out." I chuckled once. "Which is actually really sick, now that I think about it… Anyway, I had the pills ready – they were sleeping pills I'd stolen from my dad… took me about six months to get about fifteen or so – and I figured that they should be enough if I took them with alcohol, which I'd also taken from my dad. Everything was set and I was actually going to do it. But there was something else I had to do first." For the first time, I noticed that everyone else seemed to be hanging onto my every word. Most of the girls looked on the verge of tears and I could tell that Finn was also trying not to cry (which he would adamantly deny later, of course). "I was going to have one last performance with the Warblers. I figured that if I was going to… to die, then shouldn't the last thing I do be something that I loved more than anything in the world?"

"But… you're still… here," Sam said. "I mean, what happened?"

"Something stopped me. Well… some_one_. I was on my way to the senior commons for that last performance when someone stopped me and said that they were a new kid and they needed help. The first thought that went through my head was that there was no way he was a new kid, which meant that he was a spy. The second thought that went through my head was that he was the most beautiful person I'd ever seen in my life." I glanced over at Kurt with his cheeks flushed and eyes shining and I knew that that was still true – would always be true. "This might sound totally cheesy, but I'm a big believer in fate. So I knew that some higher power was trying to tell me 'Look what you would be missing out on'. And, at that moment, I knew that I wasn't going to do it." I looked right into Kurt's eyes when I said, "He saved me."

"Are you serious?"

"Of – of course," I stammered, wondering why Kurt sounded like he didn't believe me.

"But you looked so… happy when we first met."

Oh.

"That was because of you," I said, beaming. "For a while, you were the only thing that could get me to smile. Why do you think I would drive two hours just to see and talk to you?"

"Awww." I looked around for the source of the noise and laughed when I saw Puck with his hand clamped over his mouth. "Watch it, Anderson," he warned. "I can crush you."

"Bring it, Puckerman," I countered and we all started laughing.

When we all calmed down, Mr. Schue thanked me for telling my story and then said that I wasn't alone – that he'd almost killed himself when he was in high school because he'd felt ashamed that he'd cheated on a math test. "It might not be the pain of coming out," he added, looking at me and then Santana, who pulled Brittany closer to her, "or cheating on a math test, but there's something… everyone has something that might take them up to that edge." He paused. "So, right now, I want you all to think of something that you're looking forward to. Big things."

Sam was the first to say something. "Someday, I want to earn enough money to buy my folks a new place, so they don't ever have to go through the pain of losing their home again."

"I'm most looking forward to meeting Rachel Berry's children," Mercedes said and we all laughed, even Rachel herself.

"I want to be there to see my kid's first steps," Artie said.

"I want to be there to see _Sex and the City Part III_," Sugar said and I sincerely hoped they never made that movie.

"I'm sort of embarrassed to admit it, but I really do want to graduate high school," Puck said.

"I'm gonna petition the Army to change my dad's dishonorable discharge status to an honorable one," Finn said. I smiled because I knew how much that would mean to Carole and their family.

"I'm looking forward to graduating from Yale at the top of my class." I knew that Quinn would be able to do it – she was one of the most driven people I'd ever met.

"I'm looking forward to the day when my grandmother loves me again," Santana said. I nodded, knowing the situation she was in. It was going to be hard, but I knew that as long as she had Brittany and friends that loved her, that would be enough to ease the pain until her grandmother accepted her.

"I want Lord Tubbington to kick his ecstasy addiction." Oh, poor, sweet Brittany.

"I'm looking forward to marriage equality in all fifty states," I said proudly, looking at Kurt, who shyly looked away. We'd talked about it and, even though we were going to move to New York, Kurt had admitted that he'd always dreamed of getting married at the same place his parents did. As of right now, gay marriage was illegal in Ohio, but I would go to the ends of the earth to make his dreams come true.

"I'm looking forward to the first time I dance at Carnegie Hall," Mike said and I smiled, knowing I'd be right next to Tina in the front row that first night.

"I just want a song," Tina admitted and we all laughed again.

"I'm looking forward to being friends with all of you for the rest of my life." Leave it to Rachel Berry to be the one to reduce us all to near-tears.

Rory said something about peanut butter being amazing then said he was looking forward to winning Regionals. "Kurt?" Mr. Schue said. "What are you looking forward to?"

Everyone turned to look at him and he looked right at me, smiling broadly before saying, "I'm looking forward to the day when I can call Blaine my husband."

**And there you have it! **

**Hope you liked it :)**

**Review!**


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